OK - I know, the title, bit macabre, bit scary, bit self-indulgent - get over it, I am! The title is exactly how I feel, after being told at 33 that I had 3 to 5 years left to live - 11 years on I am still dying. Slower than expected, controlled by drugs, thanks to the NHS and brilliant man called Dr Brian Druker - but nevertheless dying.
Some of you may have heard me say that I never thought I would live this long, it's true, when I started on this treatment I had three gorgeous little girls and all I ever asked for was to live long enough to see them grow into beautiful, confident, capable, amazing women - and now they have. I never really thought I would make it this far - to have had that opportunity is so totally overwhelming and I am eternally grateful to whatever god/being/faith is out there.
But now what? Now what the hell do I do with myself? With the life I appear to have left. I dare hardly believe in it - I'm so very scared to want it..........
So, here I blog........
No comments:
Post a Comment