Karma

I'm a great believer in Karma - I recently found a quote: "What people do to you is their Karma, what you do to them is yours." I believe that is so true.

I haven't always believed in it though, of course when younger and a so-called friend wrongs you, you want to hit out back at them. Or there's been many an ex-lover who's very unloving antics I've wanted to seek revenge for - and perhaps a few I have......

But the thing I've learnt over time is that if you're busy seeking revenge it can take over your life, like an obsession, and yet really, try as hard as you might you can't control other people and their lives and their feelings so in the end you never really achieve revenge.

You are so busy trying to right the wrong that someone has caused you that you fail to look at the real problem and deal with that. The bit inside of you that allowed someone to treat you like that, a lack of self-confidence or self-worth.

There are few really confident people in this world and I don't know anyone who is really happy with everything about themselves. We live in a society that is judgemental, that worries about status, appearance, money, where we sit in the hierarchy.

But I am lucky to know some people who have taken the time in their life to know themselves better, and through that to know others too. Whilst they are not perfect, what they have is the ability to love themselves despite that - to accept their imperfections as the character traits that they are.

What these people also have is something amazing, they have peace. I've been lucky enough in my life to meet Archbishop Desmond Tutu, to seriously meet him and spend some time with him, talking to him, observing him with others.

Without a doubt that time, that man, has had a lasting impression on my life, he truly is a man living with peace, compassion, caring, self-less. After a long day celebrating Hull's 700th anniversary, he looked at me, a 32 year old press officer and said - Lorraine, you look tired.......without a thought for himself and the fact that he had been diagnosed with cancer at the time - it's a moment I will never forget.

These people don't tie themselves up in knots seeking and extracting revenge, nor do they hide from people who may hurt them.

So that's how I wish to live my life now, each new person I meet, I trust, if they feel the need to hurt me then so be it, that is for their conscience to live with, not mine.

If people I know and care about wrong me, then I brush myself down and get on with life and perhaps, if needed, spend some time reflecting on what it was within me that allowed them to do that. But as I get older, I find it easier to walk away from those that hurt me, rather than feed my inner insecurity and stay there for more.

So I don't worry about revenge and hurting someone as much as they have hurt me, instead I believe in Karma........

Manipulation.....

Manipulation, manipulative people, it's a trait that all of us humans are capable of, and at least some point in our lives we nearly all display.

But I think manipulation comes from inner weakness, manipulative people tend to be those who really haven't sorted out who they are inside. Who feel insecure, weak, who are trying hard to be someone they think they should be rather than learning to love who they are.

I've been manipulated, I've had my heart strings tugged by manipulative people. And I don't doubt for a minute that I've manipulated others myself - we are none of us perfect.

But, peace, happiness, love, they don't come out of maniupulation - only rollercoasters and heartbreak are the results of that trait.

So, I'm learning to let go of the manipulators and to make a conscious choice not to be manipulative myself - it comes through growing and learning as we live this life..........
It comes with age, and lots, yes lots of experience ;-)

Life is scary, childhood doesn't prepare you for that, but you can't spend life hiding behind someone else's petticoats. You gotta grab it by the balls and live it.....no matter how much that can hurt at times.

Manipulation pulls at your heartstrings, but I still believe in  a love that doesn't need to do that - a love that will cherish those heartstrings for the precious things that they are.

So I banish manipulation from my life, I learn how to live and laugh and I hope one day I will learn how to love........