So, this blogging thing, haven't done that for a while.........
Since I last blogged back in May such a lot has happened in my life, I've moved house, bought a newer car (almost), gained new friends, spent more time with my daughters, worked out what a social life is and moved so much closer to being me again!
All of these things have been positive, have seen a massive change in the person I am inside, I'm still not 'fixed', whole, complete, I'm not sure if I ever will be, does anyone ever really feel like that?!..... But I am now in much better place and for the first time in years I feel like I know who me is again.
I've learnt some lessons from all of this - never again will I live in a new house, for only an older property with character can stir my soul and be a true home. I say this, despite the fact there are currently three adults cramped into a two-bedroom terrace and my dining room is doing a great impression of a student digs......I care not, I'm happy.
I've also learnt the true value of good friends - I had a great friendship circle many years ago when I lived in Hornsea but I moved away from them, I don't regret the move, it was something I had to do. And those friends, though I see much less of them, will always be important to me. But what I never developed was a friendship circle in Norfolk, people I could laugh with, share problems with, just 'be' with - so the move has meant that I can now develop that and I have and undoubtedly this has helped put me in a better place. Who knew how healing a girls night out drinking cocktails and talking waxing could be?!!!
So, it's with this new-found happiness and one-ness with myself (yes, yes, aged hippy really!) that I decided perhaps, tentatively, I was ready to think about dating again................
So what does every sensible 45-year-old woman considering a bit of romance do? Well, I joined an on-line dating site....
It's not the first time I've used one, I had a great two-year relationship thanks to one, so I thought, why not? I'll join up and just explore what's out there.
Well, I have to say I don't remember it being such a laugh before - I've had the ' did it hurt when you fell from heaven chatline' - no, but it hurt when I couldn't stop laughing.....I'm normally more associated with hell in the dating world!!
'Notbig' keeps trying to flirt with me.......with all due respect perhaps a different name would have yielded more success? 'Bikerboy' stood more of a chance (especially if the bike turned out to be a harley and not a 50cc scooter) but 'Smutt' really was going nowhere.......
Perhaps I'm too old and cynical but another thing I've learnt - online dating just isn't for me, if only cos being a true Scot I absolutely refuse to pay for it so I can't actually 'connect' with anyone, yet despite this, in a manner similar to an credit rating agency, the pointer on my popularity rating is moving up and I am now officially 'popular' - let's not speculate what my rating could be if I could actually talk to anyone........
So, whilst I guess I'm declaring myself 'open for business' (or probably more 'less likely to recoil from the thought of being with a member of the opposite sex' - you may laugh but that is how I felt until very recently) I've decided that you can't force these things and that perhaps the best way is to go 'au naturelle' - no Smutty, not that........perhaps it's best to just leave these things to chance and see what happens.........
So- anyone out there know how to unsubscribe from a dating website?!!!!!
Since I last blogged back in May such a lot has happened in my life, I've moved house, bought a newer car (almost), gained new friends, spent more time with my daughters, worked out what a social life is and moved so much closer to being me again!
All of these things have been positive, have seen a massive change in the person I am inside, I'm still not 'fixed', whole, complete, I'm not sure if I ever will be, does anyone ever really feel like that?!..... But I am now in much better place and for the first time in years I feel like I know who me is again.
I've learnt some lessons from all of this - never again will I live in a new house, for only an older property with character can stir my soul and be a true home. I say this, despite the fact there are currently three adults cramped into a two-bedroom terrace and my dining room is doing a great impression of a student digs......I care not, I'm happy.
I've also learnt the true value of good friends - I had a great friendship circle many years ago when I lived in Hornsea but I moved away from them, I don't regret the move, it was something I had to do. And those friends, though I see much less of them, will always be important to me. But what I never developed was a friendship circle in Norfolk, people I could laugh with, share problems with, just 'be' with - so the move has meant that I can now develop that and I have and undoubtedly this has helped put me in a better place. Who knew how healing a girls night out drinking cocktails and talking waxing could be?!!!
So, it's with this new-found happiness and one-ness with myself (yes, yes, aged hippy really!) that I decided perhaps, tentatively, I was ready to think about dating again................
So what does every sensible 45-year-old woman considering a bit of romance do? Well, I joined an on-line dating site....
It's not the first time I've used one, I had a great two-year relationship thanks to one, so I thought, why not? I'll join up and just explore what's out there.
Well, I have to say I don't remember it being such a laugh before - I've had the ' did it hurt when you fell from heaven chatline' - no, but it hurt when I couldn't stop laughing.....I'm normally more associated with hell in the dating world!!
'Notbig' keeps trying to flirt with me.......with all due respect perhaps a different name would have yielded more success? 'Bikerboy' stood more of a chance (especially if the bike turned out to be a harley and not a 50cc scooter) but 'Smutt' really was going nowhere.......
Perhaps I'm too old and cynical but another thing I've learnt - online dating just isn't for me, if only cos being a true Scot I absolutely refuse to pay for it so I can't actually 'connect' with anyone, yet despite this, in a manner similar to an credit rating agency, the pointer on my popularity rating is moving up and I am now officially 'popular' - let's not speculate what my rating could be if I could actually talk to anyone........
So, whilst I guess I'm declaring myself 'open for business' (or probably more 'less likely to recoil from the thought of being with a member of the opposite sex' - you may laugh but that is how I felt until very recently) I've decided that you can't force these things and that perhaps the best way is to go 'au naturelle' - no Smutty, not that........perhaps it's best to just leave these things to chance and see what happens.........
So- anyone out there know how to unsubscribe from a dating website?!!!!!
